How was your Christmas? Were you able to complete the nine mornings? What gifts did you received from your loved ones? I celebrated Christmas at home with my family. Sharing "noche buena" and catching up is what I like the most during this season. We had fun watching fireworks in the sky and my nephews and nieces loved the fountain fireworks in our home. I saw their eyes with happiness. Luckily though I haven't completed the "misa de gallo" I attended one out of nine masses. I gained weight again and I can feel my tummy bloating. Blame to the left and right events this month plus the overflowing foods and drinks. Poor me!
It's three days more to go before we finally bid farewell to 2010. I couldn't believe that another year is about to close. It feels like 'twas yesterday that I welcomed the year of metal tiger and now it is ending. Tick tick tick the sound of the year ending and time flies really quick and there has nothing much that I achieved and accomplished great in my life yet. I dunno where should I stand. I am still looking for my place in this fuckin' world. I'm like a wandering soul looking for his place to dwell on; a place where there is contentment, humility, peace and happiness. I am not forcing anything great for now but I am hopeful for that day to come. I believe in doing what is right, whenever I see myself on the wrong end of the success ladder I easily get frustrated. But I learned that I can never reached the end of success having not to go the bottom end. Life is not perfect. Sometimes things go their way not according to our plan. Many times I frustrate myself because it is not what I plan that is happening in my life. There had been times that I tend to question HIS will. I know everything has a reason and they are bound to happen for specific purpose; unfortunately for many, we do not understand why. I'd like to believe that life is unstructured. We are living a spontaneous life. Things are happening their own way.
Speaking of life, I never dreamed of finding someone like him. I never searched. I never expected. I never asked. He just came. I wasn't attracted to him. First meeting was just like a typical gimmick for me. There was nothing special, no spark, and I dunno if there was chemistry. But out of nothingness a friendship started. A conversation was the beginning of everything. I did not love him but I ended up loving him. What we had at first was like the kilig moments and when there was what I call "formally us", teaching came. Since the day we left on that shore every second of every minute of the day was learning for me. We are two different individuals having been chosen to commit with one another. We have differences; thoughts and attitude. We are an imperfect being. We have flaws and shortcomings. I am speaking for myself now, adjustment and understanding was there. Each day passing and each discovery of him was an appreciation. He was just human like me I told myself. As day passed by I saw ME teaching to love the one I had commit myself with. I had fallen deeper as we go on sailing in the ocean of love til such time that I was drowning because of outpouring love. There was too much teaching happened and when it ended it had left my heart severely broken.
Teaching is over but it is once again time for teaching, teaching not to love him anymore. I know for a fact that it will not be simple and easy. Am I doing reverse psychology? Hmmmm I dunno. I felt lunatic that after learning to love him I will learn not to love him back. Whatta heck is my problem? Hahahahahaha! I must be going crazy. I think what I'm doing is normal. It should really be that way. How can I move forward if there's still that fuckin love. Believe me that what I'm going through is hard but I'm taking it lightly. Perhaps constant practice makes one thing perfect. I guess I'll be able to master the craft of not loving him at all in due time. I'l be getting used to that feeling somewhere in the coming days.
You know what it can be taught. It's possible. Trust me. ^_^
Speaking of life, I never dreamed of finding someone like him. I never searched. I never expected. I never asked. He just came. I wasn't attracted to him. First meeting was just like a typical gimmick for me. There was nothing special, no spark, and I dunno if there was chemistry. But out of nothingness a friendship started. A conversation was the beginning of everything. I did not love him but I ended up loving him. What we had at first was like the kilig moments and when there was what I call "formally us", teaching came. Since the day we left on that shore every second of every minute of the day was learning for me. We are two different individuals having been chosen to commit with one another. We have differences; thoughts and attitude. We are an imperfect being. We have flaws and shortcomings. I am speaking for myself now, adjustment and understanding was there. Each day passing and each discovery of him was an appreciation. He was just human like me I told myself. As day passed by I saw ME teaching to love the one I had commit myself with. I had fallen deeper as we go on sailing in the ocean of love til such time that I was drowning because of outpouring love. There was too much teaching happened and when it ended it had left my heart severely broken.
Teaching is over but it is once again time for teaching, teaching not to love him anymore. I know for a fact that it will not be simple and easy. Am I doing reverse psychology? Hmmmm I dunno. I felt lunatic that after learning to love him I will learn not to love him back. Whatta heck is my problem? Hahahahahaha! I must be going crazy. I think what I'm doing is normal. It should really be that way. How can I move forward if there's still that fuckin love. Believe me that what I'm going through is hard but I'm taking it lightly. Perhaps constant practice makes one thing perfect. I guess I'll be able to master the craft of not loving him at all in due time. I'l be getting used to that feeling somewhere in the coming days.
You know what it can be taught. It's possible. Trust me. ^_^
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