As I went back home to mend my broken heart, I noticed that it was every afternoon that rain starts to pour over Polomolok. It might be the reason why this place is rich and fertile. Heaven probably love this place as it continue to care and give life. As rain pours over our house and so do my tears. I envied Polomolok because she has heaven who love and nurture her.
It has been 6 weeks since I began to cry regularly (anytime of the day) and I thought reaching a month after break up, a person will most probably cease from crying. But in my case this wasn't true. It will perhaps take me sometime to not cry because of him. Last week, I'm not just so sure what day, I dreamed him again for the second time. The dream was about "what if I did not do this?", maybe we didn't end breaking up. People around we're always telling me that I should use my head over heart however it seems that it's hard as enamel for me to do. I attended mass yesterday with my sister, and I caught myself smiling at the priest's sermon, quoted " love is blind, love is makabuang". He said when the heart loves, it loves. It doesn't have the power of reasoning. Where is the brain? It comes in when you have decided to use it & not to let your emotion over power you. It has the power of judgement and rationalization. I realized then that all he said were true but the love I had for him was so strong, strong enough to make me dumb and blind. I'm too weak I guess that I haven't done what's should be done, maybe I would have been okay by this time.
Up to this day, whenever I think of our good or even bad memories TWOGETHER it brought my tears down. How I wish the air can blow and take away the pain in my heart. Wish this pain is like water when it is heated it will just evaporate and be gone. For how long will I suffer? I'm tired. I know that SUFFERING is an option and HAPPINESS is a choice. How can I be happy? He was the only happiness I have/had.
Oh God please help me!
so emotional :.(
love and peace!
vhaL :*)
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